And how can we make sure we’re not the villain in someone else’s story?
I recently gave a mindfulness and wellbeing talk to a team at Nespresso in New York City, and one of the questions during our Q&A really stuck with me.
"How can I make sure I'm not the villain in someone else's story at work?"
What a thoughtful question. And one I think we could all benefit from asking ourselves every now and then.
It led us into a conversation about something that doesn't always get enough attention when we talk about mindfulness: the experience of the people around us. We often think of mindfulness as something we practise for ourselves. We learn to notice our thoughts, recognise our emotions, manage stress, and become more intentional about how we respond to life's challenges.
But what if we approached mindfulness through two lenses? One looking inward, at our own experience, and the other looking outward, at how we interact with and affect the people around us? This is where the ideas of team mindfulness and psychological safety become particularly interesting.
So what actually is psychological safety?
Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson introduced the concept of team psychological safety in 1999. She described it as a shared belief that a team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.
In other words, do people feel comfortable speaking up, asking questions, admitting mistakes, or disagreeing without worrying that they'll be embarrassed, rejected, or punished for it?
Research has consistently shown that psychological safety plays an important role in how teams learn and perform. It's not about everyone agreeing or avoiding difficult conversations. It's about creating an environment where people feel comfortable having those conversations in the first place.
Where does mindfulness come in?
A 2018 study by Yu and Zellmer-Bruhn explored the concept of team mindfulness, finding that teams with greater shared awareness and a less judgemental approach to their interactions experienced less relationship conflict. Makes sense if you ask me. Imagine a colleague challenges your idea during a meeting. Your immediate reaction might be to feel defensive, interrupt, or dismiss their feedback. You might not mean anything by it, but that interaction could make them think twice about speaking up next time. Now imagine noticing that defensiveness, pausing, and responding with curiosity instead. Maybe you ask them to explain their perspective before jumping in with yours. The disagreement is still there, but the experience is completely different.
We don't always realise how our behaviour affects the people around us. And that's why bringing mindfulness into our interactions with others can be so valuable. In the workplace, and outside of it.
For Your Kit:
Next time you're in a meeting or having a conversation, try checking in with yourself through two lenses.
Look inward: What am I feeling right now? Am I genuinely listening, or am I already preparing my response?
Look outward: How might the other person be experiencing this interaction? Am I making space for their perspective?
You don't need to have all the answers, and you definitely won’t get it right every time. Sometimes just pausing to consider these questions is enough to change how we show up. Because ultimately, we can't control the role we play in someone else's story. But we can be more mindful of the impact we have, and more willing to listen, learn, and make adjustments along the way.
And I think that's a pretty good place to start.